I don’t want children, and it has nothing to do with you. 

I don’t want children. Now, I don’t say this with 100% certainty because I also thought I would never like a Justin Bieber song and then “what do you mean” AND “sorry” came along, proving that opinions made with whole hearted conviction can change with the drop of a single. But like being a Bieliber, the lack of desire to procreate is VERY controversial. I can see the judgement in people’s eyes when I tell them (after they ask me of course, I don’t just go around volunteering this taboo information) “I don’t actually think that I want to have children”. I’ve never had a maternal drive to have kids. When I would think about my future growing up I would imagine my job, what kind of animals I would have, and the kind of person I would want to marry. When I would play house baby dolls were rarely involved, and if they were, they were students, patients or someone else’s. So on behalf of women everywhere who have decided that they don’t want children, here are the things we want you to know. 

1. I hate when people tell me “You’ll change your mind.” You know what, that is very possible. One day I might wake up and decide that I actually do want children. But I doubt it. I’ve put a lot of thought into it, as I am aware the decision does eventually have a “no turning back” date, and I just don’t think I’m going to change my mind. However, if I do change my mind and have a child, this does not mean all women who don’t want children will change their minds, or wait too long and eventually regret not having any. 

2. I don’t hate kids. I have a niece and I love her more than I thought was ever possible to love anything. I love other kids too, except when they’re out of control assholes, then chances are I dislike that kid, and their parents. I was actually a nanny for two years and I loved every minute, even the rough days. I love their innocence, I love watching them learn new things, I love their wonder with every little thing, and I think the world would be a better place if we held on to a lot of the qualities they have, that adults let go of. My decision to not have children isn’t based on my feelings for them, I also love sloths but I don’t have one. 

3. My lack of desire to procreate is not judgement for your desire to be a mother. Most women with children get VERY defensive when I tell them I’m not planning on having any of my own. Their reaction is unparalleled by anything else I’ve experienced. I’ve never been called “selfish” by someone who for example has a roommate living with them when I would never have a roommate now that I’m married. But it’s perfectly acceptable to ask someone who doesn’t want kids “Don’t you think you’re being a little selfish?”. Just because I don’t want kids, does not mean that I think negatively about people who do. I’m not judging or attacking their decision by not wanting them. It actually might surprise you that my decision had nothing to do with you. Which brings me to the next point…

4. My husband is cool with it. I’m not exaggerating, 95% of the time when I tell someone I don’t want kids, their next question is “Well what does your husband think of that?”. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize he married me to be a vessel to carry his future child. My husband loves me very much, if I want kids, he wants kids, if I don’t, he doesn’t. Did it ever occur to you that this was a private conversation we had before we even got engaged? I would tell you to ask him yourself, but no one really ever asks the guy when he plans on knocking his wife up, do they? Meanwhile I get asked several times a week. 

5. It is none of your business. It is astounding to me that no one seems to consider “So when are you guys going to have kids?” A rude question. Being someone who has endometriosis, the leading cause of infertility in women, I have met a lot of women in support groups who want children, but are physically unable to have them. My heart breaks for them, I can’t even imagine the pain of wanting something so badly without results. That struggle should remain private, it is the woman, her partner and their doctor’s business. What if you asked a woman that question and she just had a miscarriage? Or she has been trying to get pregnant for years with no results or hope? 
So think before you ask someone when they’re going to have a baby. And feel free to judge away if you feel the need, when I tell you I know I don’t want children. I’ll just be here, sleeping in as long as I want, with all my extra free time, and money. 

Champagne Floats

 Blood Orange sorbet champagne float. 

I think I invented this a few years ago when we hosted an Oscar party and I decided Champagne just wasn’t fancy enough! I started calling them “Oscar Floats” and they’ve been a Stay at Work Housewife party staple ever since! They couldn’t be easier, simply pour some sparkling over a scoop of your favorite flavor of sorbet! (I highly recommend blood orange sorbet). I can’t even call this a recipe, it’s too easy; and I promise all of your party guests will think you’re a genius! 

Domestically Dani

I’m excited to announce my new monthly cooking show that premiers in August! The first video was meant to be the promotional video, but after seeing the blooper video and deciding its waaaaaay better, the second one is the “official promo video”.  Enjoy!

 

Green Bean Delivery Promotional Code!!! 

Did you check out my review for Green Bean Delivery and think it might be something you would like to try?! Well here’s your chance to try it AND get $15 off! Just use the promo code bc3sawh when you place your first order! Also, don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @stayatworkhousewife to see how I use the ingredients in my Green Bean Delivery bin every week to make fresh, delicious meals for my family! 

 
*Offer applies to new members and reactivations only, valid until September 23rd, 2015. 

The Stay At Work Housewife in Columbus Alive! 

Exciting news! I was recently featured in a local paper, Columbus Alive, where I talk about what inspired me to start this blog, balancing my professional and social life, and the new cooking show I’ve been working on! Check it out HERE!

  

The Stay At Work Housewife 30 Days Happier Challenge

I have to admit that at this time in my life, I have everything I have always wanted.  A wonderful, supportive husband, the career of my dreams, a beautiful home, three healthy rescue animals, and I’m surrounded by amazing, loving people.  A few weeks ago, after a busy day at work, and a nice dinner with my husband, I sat on the couch practically buzzing with excitement.  The kind of warmth and giddiness I get after having a few glasses of wine, only I hadn’t drank that night, and there wasn’t anything terribly exciting going on that day or the next.  “What is going on with me?” I wondered.  Then I realized: I am happy.  I’ve walked around these past few weeks addicted to that feeling and wanting it back!  Now before anyone starts thinking that I usually walk around mopey and depressed, this is not the case.  Sure, I get into the occasional ‘funk’ for no reason, where I just feel kind of blah, but I am not an unhappy person.  In fact I would describe myself as a generally happy person, like I said earlier, I have a million reasons to be happy, but I rarely feel happiness for an extended period of time.  

I’m a pretty cynical person, that might have something to do with it, but I try to see the positive in everything.  I recently read a study that the area of your brain that controls creativity is also responsible for negative emotions; so the more creative you are, the more likely you are to feel frequently melancholy. However, I’m going to go ahead and say that it is a product of my generation.  We want and want and want something, and then when we finally get it, instead of taking time to feel grateful, we move straight into wanting the next thing.  Take technology for example: Some people stand in line for hours waiting on the latest version of a phone, then not too long after you get it, they announce that your ‘new’ phone is old, and there’s a better version, so there you are again wanting the next latest thing.  I’m guilty of that, never once have I taken the time to think “I love my phone, I worked very hard to be able to pay for it and it serves me well every day.” It’s usually more like “Stupid phone! I can’t wait for my next upgrade!”. Instead of appreciating the things that I already have, I’m constantly looking forward to the next thing, and it’s robbing me of feeling daily happiness.  I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with setting goals for yourself and working hard towards achieving them, that’s how you become successful, but I do think you should allow yourself time to revel in your accomplishments.  After all, why work so hard for them without taking time to enjoy the fruits of your labor?! 

That is why for the month of June I am challenging myself to live happier! Nothing really big, just things I can do on a daily basis to bring myself joy, that are small, free, and not at all time consuming!  Here’s what I have decided work for me personally:

  • Take time to think about the things in life I am grateful for.  I will not discount all of the hours of hard work it has taken me to get to this point in my life, personally, professionally, and financially.  While remaining humble, I will take time out of my day to be mindful of all of the amazing things in my life that I get to enjoy each and every day!
  • Take time to admire something that makes me smile.  There is beauty all around us, and like the old saying goes “Stop and smell the roses!”  It is easy to get hung up on all of the negative things going on in the world, which is why it is important to take a moment to appreciate the little things that make you smile. From the art in your morning latte, to the beautiful sunsets every evening. 
  • Do something thoughtful for someone else.  I always find I get more enjoyment out of making someone else happy, than doing something for myself.  Whether it’s letting someone know how much they mean to me, sending my mom flowers for no reason, letting someone at the bank who seems to be in a hurry cut in front of me, or simply paying a stranger a compliment!
  • Eat healthy.  I am at my very best when I follow a strict Paleo diet, so for the month of June I will be doing The Whole 30 challenge.

I invite you to share this journey with me, and join The Stay At Work Housewife’s 30 Days Happier Challenge!  By doing this together we can provide each other with support, hold each other accountable, and find joy in our mutual happiness, all while growing together! 

Here’s how it works:

For the month of June

Follow me on Instagram @stayatworkhousewife 

Each day post either:

  • Something in your life you are grateful for.
  • Something little that made you smile.
  • Something thoughtful you did for someone else.
  • Something special you did for yourself.

On Sunday’s post the highlight of your week!

With each post use the hashtag #30dayshappier and tag me @stayatworkhousewife

Remember everyone’s journey is different, maybe one day a simple quote inspired you, or you started a savings account, or finished an incomplete project around the house.  Alternatively, maybe instead of looking at a dent in the wall you’ve been meaning to patch and feeling frustrated, you look at it and smile, appreciating that your life has kept you busy doing so many amazing things, that you haven’t had time to get to it!  There are no rules, just be happy!

Let me know who is joining me by posting the picture below with the caption:

“I am joining The Stay At Work Housewife’s 30 Days Happier Challenge for the month of June! @stayatworkhousewife #30dayshappier

  

GET YOUR COPY OF CHELSEA LORD’S EBOOK “HOW I MADE 40K MY FIRST YEAR BLOGGING”!

I have to tell you,  this book has taught me things that two years of blogging hasn’t even taught me!  Chelsea writes in SUCH an informative yet relatable way, usually all of the technical stuff kind of flies over my head, but not when she explains it! I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is thinking about starting a blog, or even to someone who has been blogging 5 years!

40k blogging